Monday 18-5-20



A few months ago, on the morning after I had been partying all night, I woke up in a panic to find that I had lost my phone. There was no-one at home so I could not reach anyone. Rushing, I asked to borrow my neighbours phone so I could call my number and see who would answer. With each ring I was hoping that it would pick up. Shockingly it did. I thought that whoever found my phone would want to keep it for themselves. Luckily the people who I partied with found it and were waiting for me to call. My neighbour helped me to write down the address they told me to meet them at on a sticky note. Then I left with just the note, my keys and purse. 

I literally felt so small. Without any connection to this virtual world, where everyone feels close, it seemed as if I had no friends. I sat at the station waiting for my train and the day felt brighter. I was able to appreciate the sky and nature more. It was peaceful. Since I didn’t have my phone to look down at, I was looking up, admiring everything else. As I looked around, my sense of strangers heightened. I felt like they could not see me at all, they were just in their own worlds. Usually, if I were to have my phone, I would just go on it and look at other strangers posts and feel close to them, since they are sharing so much personal information. Like they told me what they ate this morning, so of course I know how their day is going. It is almost like I know them well. But the actual truth is that I know nothing. They are just like the strangers who were around me. To cut my story short, I eventually got my phone back and returned home safely. 

Firstly, I want to address the false misconception of celebrities on social media. Before our phones, celebrities seemed superior. It was like they lived on a different planet. Unreachable. Now that we have social media, we can talk to them on Instagram live, send them dm’s, have them retweet our thoughts, repost our content. They seem closer to us than ever. We almost feel that they are ordinary people because they show us in their posts that they are just human. They also can do TikTok dances, feel bullied by others and share memes that made them laugh. However, the reality is that they are not like us at all. They live in million dollar houses, have luxury lifestyles and are used to special treatment. If we were to spend a day with them we would definitely feel their celebrity aura. Social media makes us forget all of that. To be honest I kind of miss the feeling of celebrities being inaccessible. Greats like Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston to name a few, will always have that irreplaceable, legendary feel as they were never reachable. You could only see them on TV or learn a bit about them from their interviews. With social media, ANYONE can become famous. Being ‘famous’ has lost it’s quality. Make one viral post about ANYTHING and then millions will follow you. Talent is not needed to make you known anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate social medias ability to make you known. It has made a lot of people wealthy who wouldn’t have had a chance to be, if there was no world such as this. 

I say social media is also fake because nothing is real on there. A lot people buy their likes, comments and followers. Making you question yourself as to why you don’t have that much interaction. I always see young people in comments saying ‘you are so perfect’ ‘I need to go and loose weight now’ ‘gym is calling’, bashing themselves because of what someone has put out there. Let me tell you. Most posts are edited, they are photoshopped. Some being more obvious than others. Meaning, the person who you are wishing to look like, doesn’t even look like that themselves. You are getting upset over something that does not exist. People have insecurities so they have every right to do what they want, whether that is plastic surgery or editing their photos. If it makes them feel better that is great and it is their choice. But before you become upset that you do not look like them, remember that they are not perfect. 

The internet has made people compare themselves. With every scroll down the timeline, you see people accomplishing different things in their field. You ask yourself what you are doing with your life. You want to have what they have. Their house, car, clothes and relationships. But why. Do you know how they got these things? Do you know what they have to go through everyday to maintain these things? You can never know what someone does in the dark. Some of the things they have could be stolen, or bought through fraud. Do you really want to be them? You know nothing about their family life. Maybe when they go home they get no love. They may have medical conditions you have no clue on. You say relationship goals but really they had an argument just before posting how in love they look. I can tell you that in my life, more than one guy has flirtatiously dm’d me whilst having their girlfriend or wife posted on their social media. Some people are good at hiding all their problems. These are usually the people who come across as perfect. The things you take for granted, they may wish they had. People do not like showing their problems.

For some, social media is an escape. Where they know they can receive love from some comments and feel better about themselves, before facing their reality. I am sure most of you had no clue of what I went through at the beginning of the year, as mentioned in my ‘reasons to be grateful’ post. I was not on social media throughout that time, I was ghosting because I had to deal with my real life. But on my return to the internet, all I posted was images and videos of myself that I liked. That does not tell you anything about me. Let me tell you, you can put something out into the internet, without any context, and people can make up a story in their heads. Their thoughts of you are all based on how they want to think about you. You cannot change their mind. If they want to hate you, they will find reasons to hate you. You can treat them with the most love, and they will still have negative opinions. People see what they want to see. 

Every time you come off social media, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel better or worse? Are you happier or more insecure? Do you feel pressure to change? Do you feel that you are not good enough? Well, I want to tell you that you are good enough, you are perfect as you are, and someone needs you just the way you are. Imperfectly perfect. 

I want you to try taking a day off your phone, just to see how much of the day you feel. Go for a walk with just your favourite music playing in your ears. See how beautiful the day is away from being bombarded with others thoughts and opinions. Take inspiration from nature and life, create something completely original. Enjoy being around the people close to you and have real conversations. Have a long hot shower. Wash your hair with your best products. Drink your favourite tea. Wear a face mask. Watch your favourite movie. Take naps. Dance around your house. Make your family laugh with your moves. LIVE without judgement. 

I hope you have a great day. 

Love always,

Raquel ♡